And That’s a Wrap

Time flies when you’re having fun really doesn’t hit you until your time is over. My time here at Central Michigan University has been a growing experience in ways that I didn’t expect. The things in life life that are unexpected are usually the one’s that you end up valuing the most and that speaks for my entire experience here at CMU.

As a freshman, I came into college with a high school confidence. Now, when I say this meaning, I thought I had everything figured out when it came to knowing who I am. I thought I knew my values, I thought I was set and all I needed to do was cruise through the next four years to then start my career. Now, let me tell you, there was nothing smooth and cruise-like on my ride here the past four years. When I came here and my first semester was underway, I realized that I didn’t have everything under control and I wasn’t confident in myself. I felt like I was alone in the sense that I was away from everything I have ever known. Even though I had LAS to help ease me in with a lot of new friends, I still felt like I was internally alone.

I knew that I wanted to join a club and specifically I have always been interested in Greek Life. So, my first semester I decided to rush a fraternity. Although LAS was great and I had so many supporters, I knew that I wanted to be a part of another group on campus and expand my horizons. I especially wanted to do this because I wanted to challenge myself and jump out of my comfort zone. I didn’t have a lot of guy friends in my life and I knew that this would be a great way for me to put myself out there. After a long and stressful week of rushing, I finally got accepted into Sigma Alpha Epsilon.

I could write an entire novel about my experience in SAE, but I don’t think there are many words that I could write here that would do it justice. Joining a fraternity in college sounds like one of the most cliche things you can do but I could argue a million ways why everyone should at least try it. I thought that I was a decently social person and could hold myself in a social environment well, but joining a fraternity was something that really took me back and made me realize that I was not as socially competent as I thought I was. I was nervous, shy, and most of the time had no idea what to say or what to do in any situation during my first semester. There were 40 other guys that seemed to all have this bond and I really wondered if I could fit in here because I felt like and outsider, something that I had never really felt in a large group before. I was thankful enough to have so many brothers comfort and support me in my hard times during this first semester, even year and I definitely grew a lot during that part of my experience.

Entering my sophomore year, I knew that I wanted to something bigger. I wanted to step up and take on a leadership role in SAE. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do but I knew that I wanted to run for a position. It wasn’t until I got enough support from my close friends and other people in the chapter that I had enough courage and confidence to eventually run for vice president. This was something that I didn’t even see possible because I was only a sophomore and had only been in the chapter for about a year a that point. I was also running against an upper class man whom I thought would also do a great job in the position. Fast forward, to my surprise, I was elected as the new vice president for the next year! This was such a big position and I had a lot of fears but I knew in myself that I wouldn’t have done if I didn’t think that I could do it or if i didn’t have the support from everyone. The next year in this position was, in short, the most pressure I had ever had in a leadership position. I was dealing with real-life issues that caused me to have to expel two people and suspend one due to their negative actions and reputation they were giving our chapter. Being the head of our judicial board was something that I took seriously but I’d be lying if I didn’t break down a few times. It really taught me judgment, decision making, crisis management, and interpersonal communication. I was in constant communication with others outside of the chapter, within the chapter, and with several alumni to seek guidance. I had never felt this much weight on my shoulders before and at times I questioned if I could really handle all of it. I really couldn’t have gotten through my term as VP without the hug support from my friends and executive board and it really taught me a lot about not just leadership but about life.

Come my junior year, I had planned on retiring from VP and either taking on a smaller and less strenuous position, or just not take any other positions and focus on Greek Week. It wasn’t until I realized the current situations, and I guess you can say a little pressure from the chapter, to consider running for a second term of VP. Everything in myself told me not to do it because it took such a massive toll on my mental health in the past year, but for some reason I knew the only option was to run again. At elections, I gave my speech and had an overwhelming vote towards me and I was elected for my second term. I knew that it would be different because I would have a new executive board and I had a whole year under my belt so I wouldn’t be starting from scratch. This next year was challenging but in a different way for me. It took more strength in me to push through this term because I had been doing it for so long and I was feeling like there wasn’t much gas left in the tank. The only thing that kept me going was honestly, the people. As VP, my duties are to handle all internal functions, but it also means that I had to keep the emotional well-being of the chapter. I took this part very seriously because I wanted to, now as an upperclassmen, give back to the younger members and make sure that they were having a great experience. I tried to handle all problems with ease and After the past year, there was a lot less issues because I think that has to do with the respect that the members had for me.

One of my goals for this leadership position was to of course improve myself as a leader, but I really wanted to inspire others to have the courage to become leaders too. At the end of each semester we would have different traditions and one in which we would all have a debrief of the semester. One comment that has and always will stick with me is one of my brothers stating that I “am one of the only people that is keeping the chapter afloat and that we would be nothing without me”. Although I was very humbled, I couldn’t help but feel guilty because I now that I am not the only one. This definitely has motivated and pushed me through those two years of being VP because it was something that was said that made me feel like I was doing something right. Hearing my fellow brothers saying that I am doing a great job and that they couldn’t imagine anyone else ever being so selfless is something that really makes me love this chapter more and it really allowed me to end my time as VP with pride.

Now, when it comes to my academic journey, that was probably just as much of a rollercoaster as my social and leadership journey. When I came into college, I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to major in let alone what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. From when I entered college to my the second semester of my sophomore year I had switched my major four times. This made me so stressed out because I felt like I was wasting so much time and money. It wasn’t until I had a conversation with a friend that inspired me to ultimately choose the major of communication sciences and disorders. Since, then I have been so motivated to keep on learning more about my field and I knew that I had chose the right path. Each semester as I took new classes, I felt more excited about my future. As one of the few majors at CMU where you had to apply to get into the major, I felt like I had to have high standards, higher than before, for all my classes. This was specifically difficult especially if you can recall the stress I was dealing with in my fraternity at the time. After I was accepted into the major, I felt a huge weight come off my shoulders because I was no longer competing to get a spot in the major. Oh but it wasn’t over…as I entered my senior year, I now was competing to get accepted into grad school with thousands across the entire country. My experience with applying to grad school was probably one of the most stressful things I have done that has dealt with my future. Not knowing where you’re going to school and if you’re even going to get accepted is something that was making me go mentally insane. I really grew closer to my cohort during this time and I want to give a big thanks to them because we were really all in it together.

As I finish and discuss my last semester, I want to start off by saying thank you to everyone that has been a part of my journey. From my LAS cohort, to professors, classmates, friends, and my brothers of Sigma Alpha Epsilon. I really learned a lot on this crazy ride that we call college and although there was some negatives, there was so many positives that I am ever so grateful for. My last semester at CMU comprised of my first semester since freshman year of not holding a leadership position, taking my last sequence of courses in my major, and making more memories with my friends as it was the last semester. When I found out that my last semester on campus at CMU was cut short and ultimately ending in February, I was completely devastated. Why was this happening? Why me and why now? My experience has been so great and why does it have to end like this? I was so furious that I was missing all of my “lasts”. My last tie stepping in Health Professions, my last time working at starbucks, my last formal event, my last greek week, and probably most sad of all, my last time seeing my favorite people in one place. Not being able to get any closure of my time here at CMU is something that is still depressing to even think about and it makes me really think about life and the future. If I have learned anything from everything going on in the world today, I have learned that you cannot take anything, absolutely nothing, for granted. You never know the true worth and value of something in your life until it’s gone. I feel like my experience and the last chapter of my book has been ripped out and taken away from me. This can’t be the way that my story ends. Although my physical journey as a college student at CMU has ended, I know that I will always fire up forever and have a little piece of everyone that has made my experience unforgettable in my heart. Don’t worry CMU, this is NOT the last time you will be seeing Kyle Jennings, you can count on that.

Fire Up Forever